Vend-A-Goat

Don't ask why I think this is so funny. I guess that I have a weird sense of humor. Vend-A-Goat just does something for me. Sorry.

Tom Schreiner on Women in Ministry

Dr. Thomas Schreiner wrote an excellent chapter on this subject (see here) that surveys both the Old and New Testaments. What makes his writing so powerful and persuasive is that he shows forth the true value and worth of women as it relates to ministry and, at the same time, shows the limits placed on women in the life of the church. He takes the very best arguments of egalitarians and shows why they impose a foreign teaching onto the Scriptures.

Scripture is not driving groups like the Vineyard Churches to concede the debate--culture and feminism is persuading them. It is a sad day when the culture begins to dictate the life and teachings of the church. If we hold to a high view of the Bible, then we must reject the "feminization" of our churches. We shouldn't lower the level of a women's worth to modern day feminism, but take it to it's proper level with a thoroughly Biblical and God-centered theology.

Gender Confusion: Imagine That!

I typically don't gloat in "told you so" moments, but this is one of them that I must. According to this report (link here) the Association of Vineyard Churches have now opened the door to having women pastors in their fellowships. This comes as no surprise to me, given their inception and past controversies.

I did quite a bit of research into John Wimber (pictured here) and the Vineyard movement when I first became a Christian. It was evident to me then, as it is even more now, that there is a dangerously low view of Scripture amongst many of the leaders associated with this movement. Experience and cultural influences have become powerful agents of persuasion in many of these churches. Their theology doesn't begin with God and His glory, but with man (woman) and their feelings on any given matter. This is why the so-called Toronto Blessing could be spawned from their movement. This is why the now infamous "prophetic gift" movement could come out of their movement. And now we have this.

When we reject the very clear teaching of the Bible and set up our own practices in place of them, we are walking on dangerous ground. Once we begin to compromise one issue, the temptation to compromise on others gains more and more ground. We must hold firm to a high view of Scripture and to the glorification of God in all things.

Weird Cult Uncovered!

Dressed in weirdo outfits and crazed smiles, the newest UFO cult has been uncovered. They call their new cult the Kingdom Seekers group. The "Kingdom" as they call it, is beyond the moon. According to Peter Blue Child (the official leader of the group), the moon has been hiding the Kingdom planet from the plain view of humans on earth. The goal is to blow-up the moon with nuclear devices. Once the moon is gone, they can then build a rocketship to fly to their new planet. Once on the planet they can procreate and start a new society of Kingdom Seekers.

"Who knows how many moons are hiding future Kingdoms from our view," says Linda Moonwalker, "Satan is very clever to hide our planets from our view." The New York Times has reported that there are over "100 or so Kingdom Seekers groups in the Bagdad Kentucky" alone. "There's no telling how many of these groups are really out there. Hundreds, perhaps thousands exist!"

"We seek the advancement of our Kingdom. We cannot be stopped, we will not be deterred. Opposition is futile. Our fellow Kingdom Seekers will someday rule the universe," says Clinton Venus Enus.

On a recent Oprah Winfrey show, the new cult was interviewed. Winfrey scolded one in the audience for being so narrow-minded and judgmental. "Hey, if that's their truth, then who are we to judge?" The show was abruptly ended when Linda Moonwalker attempted to eat Oprah's right ear. Oprah left the scene unhurt. The group declined to comment on the incident.

Gene Scott: My First Televangelist

I can still remember watching Gene Scott, as a kid, on late night television. He was, what you would say, a rather "unique" televangelist. He smoked cigars, cussed, demanded money from his viewers, and wrote Greek and Hebrew letters on his white board. Pretty cool stuff, as a kid, when your only other options on religious television were people with weird hair slaying each other in the spirit.

Some of his classic moments in my memory: (1) Stopping his teaching and yelling at the camera saying, "I'm not teaching until there's more money!" He then proceeded to smoke his cigar for about a half hour before picking up his teaching. (2) Riding his horse around his horse track over and over again to a Neil Diamond song. (3) Hanging out with his friends at his horse ranch--his friends just happened to be pretty young girls. He had a thing for ministering to pretty girls. (4) Playing his saxophone on stage with his tie wrapped around his head. (5) Trying to explain why Hebrew words are cooler than others.

Teaching? Doctrine? I can't remember a thing! I don't remember a thing that he ever taught on. I think that God protected me from everything that he had to say. He was just the interesting guy who smoked a cigar and talked about God. Dr. Scott passed away a few years back. Looking back now, he's the last person in the world that I would ever want to be handcuffed to when they died. Gene Scott was the perfect False Teacher--he fleeced people of their money, lived a licentious lifestyle, and taught doctrine that damns the soul.

The only thing that I respect about him is that he was typically pretty honest about his feelings on things. Also, the fact the G. Campbell Morgan was one of his favorite writers--I have no idea why he liked Morgan! Anyways, Scott is gone, but you can still have the Gene Scott Experience through his website.

Imputed Righteousness: An Alien Doctrine?

In their May 7th broadcast, Michael Horton and his guests deal with the Doctrine of Imputed Righteousness. A very eye-opening broadcast that deals with this crucial and life-changing doctrine. As they explain so eloquently, doctrine is a matter of life and death. A church that ceases to teach these important doctrines is a church that ceases to be Evangelical.

I about fell off my chair when I heard them interviewing Pastors at a recent Evangelical Pastor's Conference. 67% of those interviewed could not articulate what the doctrine is. Some of the answers were simply unbelievable.

It has reinforced my conviction that the church desperately needs sound doctrine. There is simply no excuse for churches not to be dealing with these issues on a consistent basis. Doctrine is important because God's word is important. God's word is important because God is important--we cannot separate our love for Christ with our love for his word. His word is life to us. It's His heart towards us. It is His revelation to a fallen world. Without the Doctrine of Imputation, we cease to preach the gospel.

Album Review: Don Lonie Talks Again

Want to hear somebody talk? Tired of the sound of silence? Lonely? Well this albums for you!!!

Listen to Don Lonie talk and talk and talk and talk! There's just no one quite like Don--he talks like he was born for it! Hear talking at it's very best.

Listen to him talk about himself, his wife, his kids, his car, his pet bird, and much much more! His new hit single, "Be Quiet, I need to talk" has the charts buzzing! Other hits include, "Talking is fun for everyone" and the ever popular gansta rap, "Talkin' ain't easy when you're livin in the hood."

"Talking has been taken to a new level. Bravo Don Lonie."---Sean Hannity

"As a professional talker myself, I've got to say, Don Lonie has talked himself right into my heart. Great job Donnie boy!"---Larry King

"I'm inspired, I'm humbled....I won't ever talk the same again. Thanks Don."--Oprah Winfrey

The End is Finally Here!!!

I think that this firmly shows that the end of the world is at hand. I think that there is something in the Book of Revelation or something that talks about this. I am truly speechless. I am shocked and awed by the enormous complexity of the situation. I'm going to bed now. Good night and good luck.

God is the Gospel

I am finishing up John Piper's new book "God is the Gospel." Obviously, Piper didn't develop a focus group or see which way the cultural wind was blowing before he decided to write this book. He saw an important issue in the Bible and decided to write about it--pretty simple strategy. I am continually amazed by his passion for communicating the Word of God to our generation. His books are thoroughly biblical and perfectly relevant to anyone's life. Here's an insightful quote from the book concerning the importance of doctrine:

"Gospel doctrine matters because the good news is so full and rich and wonderful that it must be opened like a treasure chest, and all its treasures brought out for the enjoyment of the world. Doctrine is the description of these treasures. Doctrine describes their true value and why they are so valuable. Doctrine guards the diamonds of the gospel from being discarded as mere crystals. Doctrine protects the treasures of the gospel from the pirates who don't like the diamonds but who make their living trading them for other stones. Doctrine polishes the old gems buried at the bottom of the chest. It puts the jewels of gospel truth in order on the scarlet tapestry of history so each is seen in its most beautiful place. " (Page 22)

The thesis of the book is that God Himself is what we receive by receiving the good news of the Gospel. Eternal life is great, heaven is great, streets of gold are great, but it would all be worthless unless Christ was there to be enjoyed and worshipped. The crux of the Gospel is that we receive Him and get to enjoy Him forever. It sounds so simple but Piper lays it out in a way that can be life changing if you allow it to be.